The Imperfects

Beginning For Beginners with Hamish Blake & James van Cuylenburg

2026-11-01

Have we ruined the art of being a beginner?
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With guest host Hamish Blake, we welcome back friend (family?) of the show James van Cuylenburg to expertly guide us through beginners’ mindset: what is it, how can we harness it, and what is the best way to model it for our kids?
In a time where kids are wanting to be the GOAT of a sport they learnt about yesterday, we’re winding back the clock to reframe the anger and frustration of trying a new skill, and to learn just how great persistence is for our identity.
James leads us through why we avoid discomfort, the role of dopamine and reward, and when to allow ourselves to quit something.
This episode contains lots of helpful advice for anyone wanting to adopt a beginners’ mindset, and embrace ‘friction maxing’ as their next expedition into embracing discomfort.
Chapters

00:00:00 The Beginner's Mindset
00:01:32 Childhood Choir Days & The Pressure to Be the GOAT
00:10:32 Frictionless Society: The Dopamine Problem
00:22:08 Friction Maxxing: Inviting Discomfort Back In
00:27:49 Process Over Product: Finding Joy in the Journey
00:33:51 Persistence vs Endurance: The Art of Sticking With It
00:49:20 The Zone of Proximal Development: The 5% Rule
00:53:03 When Kids Get Angry: Co-Regulation & Small Wins
00:56:22 Shame vs Motivation: The Choir Director's Mistake
00:59:13 James Van Cuylenburg's New TV Show & Final Thoughts

🫖If you liked this episode, you might also love
James van Cuylenburg - Love Your Wonky Bricks - https://bit.ly/3VZ1O26
James van Cuylenburg - What’s Your Relationship Status - https://bit.ly/4jFdIrF
Hamish Blake - Let’s Talk About Self Doubt - https://bit.ly/4jKDwCQ
Dr Emily - You’re Full of Grit - https://bit.ly/3ULXe6W
Nedd Brockman - The Man, The Myth, The Neddgend - https://bit.ly/4ilxYvX
The Academy of Imperfection - Dr Billy Garvey, Paediatrician - https://bit.ly/4Bpwmdn
Dr Billy Garvey - From Boyz II Men - https://bit.ly/4zpm6QQ
📺 Things to watch
Unskilled Adult - https://bit.ly/4dYgJQi
🎧 Things to listen to
You’re A Good Kid - https://bit.ly/4z9u1Sp
📚Research to research
Gretchen Rubin’s work on process over product - https://bit.ly/4z6UTCu
Angela Duckworth’s work on grit - https://bit.ly/3WAhuJf
🚲 Things to check out
Blue Derby Pods Ride - https://bit.ly/4irThwd
Engage 1 on 1 Psychology - https://bit.ly/3Wev2dg
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The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

No. of episodes

308

Latest episode

2026-11-01

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We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.